Posted by: bipolarmystic | October 4, 2016

Embracing Minimalism

A few weeks ago I became very fed up with the chaos in my home.  Although I’ve always been attracted to minimalism and even fancied being a minimalist parent, we ended up with loads and loads of unneeded items.  I started reading books and blogs about minimalism and was astounded by the fact that some folks own only one plate, bowl, silverwear setting per person.  And then I was astounded that we thought it was a great idea to buy more so that we would always have a clean utensil.  That only resulted in piles of dishes by the sink.  I’m exceedingly happy to report that we are now managing just fine with one setting each.

Bags and boxes of donations later, the material possessions in the house are much more managable.  Although, since I only started a few weeks ago, there is still a long way to go.  But clearing out all that rubbish has sometimes been really difficult, painful even.  A lot of assumptions have to be questioned.  For example, I found myself agonizing over my newly minimal wardrobe of yoga pants, a pair of black leggings, tees, and nothing at all I felt was suitable for pictures with my daughter.  The reason I was feeling so bad?  I was thinking about eventually posting the pictures on Facebook and wanted to make sure I looked as good as possible.  Because other people might have an opinion about it…  It’s like, I can’t even look nice for myself.  Totally.  Bizarre.

Then contemplating what to do with all my spiritual items that I no longer use.  Re-living the wonderful moments from the past, but knowing I need to go in another direction.  Getting rid of items I made/use for costumes – which has been a creative outlet for me.  It’s very difficult.  Some of these “things” really became part of my identity.  They also helped distract me from my lonliness.

As for that…I’m torn about it.  I just found it very difficult to keep up with the few friendships I was cultivating after my 20 month old was born.  And then I quit my job in January, so I no longer have the social interaction element from work.  I feel like since my daughter was born, and probably even before that, I have been quite confused about what I want (besides having another baby, which was planned).

Before I got on the minimalism kick, I was reading about autism spectrum disorders in women.  If I were to label myself now, I would probably say that I have some serious sensory issues or I self identify as “mildly” autistic.  The qualifier must go in quotes because I feel that in many ways I function much like “neurotypical” folks.  But in some ways I really, really don’t.  Many folks with ASD also object to the “mild” qualifier for the same reason.  One individual may do very well in the self-care area, while struggling terribly in communication / relationships.  It has been EXTREMELY interesting to view my past through the lens of ASD in females, but that is another post for another time.

This posting mirrors the confusion in my soul, from one topic to the next, only a loosely knit narrative of my life.  I am really hoping that as I continue to adopt a minimalist mindset and lifestyle, I can achieve more clarity.  I guess I should define what minimalism means to me / what I’m hoping to achieve.  Hmmm..

To me, minimalism means living a simple life, with few possessions.  Those possessions I do have should be very useful, durable, and if possible beautiful.  Instead of spending my time & energy cleaning and taking care of crap, I want to spend it doing things I really love, with a few good people now and again.  I want to feel calmer and more focused.  I need space in my life to work through my emotional distress and figure out what I really want.

One thing I do know I love is writing, and I do enjoy writing here on the blog.  Expect the narrative to be ever-changing, though, dear reader.  For the only constant in life is change…

 

 

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